BOY♀

Good gifts from my Dad

Last year, for Mother’s Day, Dad got Mom a vacuum cleaner.

This year, for Mother’s Day, Dad got Mom a frying pan.

Seriously Dad! It’s like feminism never happened!

The Hunger Games

Shut up! I know I am 2 months late (or rather, 3 and a half years), but last night I fell in love with The Hunger Games.

I went to watch the film, without reading the books.

I know, I know. I’m a fool.

The reason I waited 2 months after the film was released in the first place is because I vowed to read the books first. But then, an opportunity came up for me to see the film for free, and I find it difficult to say no to freebies, so the reasoning in my head went:

“I heard the film was a great adaption. It’ll be worth seeing it as a film alone. I won’t be ruining anything.”

Again, I AM A FUCKING FOOL!

Now, I don’t usually swear, so you can understand my frustration. I have now an endless stream of questions in my mind that the film stimulated, and I have no way to answer them!!

• How did Katniss and Gale come to know one another? Is there something more there?
• What happened to Katniss’ father, and has it got anything to do with the irresponsibility of her mother?
• Why do the people in the Capitol dress like that!?
• Is each District divided by race, occupation or wealth? The outer Districts seem to be poorer, District 12 is of mining, and District 11 is distinctively occupied by African descendent.
• Is the story set both the past and the future or the science fiction? While the Districts look like they’re from the 18th Century, the Capitol seems out of this world!
• What’s going to happen next!?
• What is The Hunger Games intended to represent about our world. I feel as though the film hinted at this, but I don’t know enough of its origin to figure it out!

I am aware of the obvious solution here of course: read the bloody books! But Year 12 doesn’t lend itself rationally to time, and I’m still in the middle of some John Greens (which I am not putting down, no way in hell).

I just wanted to complain a little, because the Hunger Games is all I could think of last night. OH GOD!! 

Fan Girling

Today, I’d like to take a minute to talk about Fan Girling.

Now, I admit that I am not completely immune to the appeals of 5 attractive, British boys singing and smouldering together. Quite the opposite actually, I think they are adorable. Similarly, I think that 5 Labrador puppies playing a game of tug-a-war is freaking cute, HOWEVER I understand that it is completely illogical, and quite frankly freaking weird, to scream my face off, cry and babble incoherently ‘be the father of my children!!’ at them. Not cool, girls.

Okay yes, I understand Labradors are not the same as boys with nice voices, who dress well and are incredibly witty too. I do. So before you dismiss me immediately for not understanding ‘the consuming love you feel for One Direction’, just please hear me out, because I’m not dissing you, I swear. I’m not even directing this in one direction (see what I did there?), because Fan Girling has been a fundamental part of pop culture since The Beatles and MJ. No one has a right to judge what type of music you love. But today, I want to talk about the WAY in which we as girls tend to show our love…

Fan Girling. Fan. Girling. Even the name is derogatory. I’m not trying to get all feminist on your asses, but hear me out. Fan Girling does completely undo everything feminism has worked to build for the past 50 years. It reduces girls in the eyes of boys, confirming all the qualities men have labelled us for centuries: frivolous, silly, uncontrollably emotional, and utterly succumb to the power of men.

It’s completely okay to feel overwhelmed, excited, passionate. It’s completely okay to adore something with all your heart. In fact, I endorse this. BUT THAT DOES NOT EQUATE TO FAN GIRLING! I mean COME ON LADIES, BE COOL!! There is nothing attractive about a girl who screams into your face when you say ‘hi’ to them. NOTHING. What Fan Girling does is make boys believe girls are incapable of in-depth appreciation for music and art and the more intelligent aspects of music besides ‘hotness’. WHICH IS COMPLETELY UNTRUE. We have JUST AS MUCH appreciation for music! But I cannot blame them for thinking otherwise, because our Fan Girling indicates that the most important thing we care about is ATTRACTIVENESS! Girls screaming and crying over boybands do not project the calm, collected and in control ladies that WE ARE!

Even though a majority of you DO actually care about the music (and the musicians’ attractiveness is just an added perk) FAN GIRLING makes you seem SHALLOW, and actually manages to DEFAME the very band you love. How can your favourite band be taken seriously as musicians if the only thing their fans SEEM to care about is how they look?

Just something I was thinking about a lot recently.

Today, I finally read Looking For Alaska

Now, I’m not one to sit and read for long stretches of time, I’m not nearly patient enough, but within the first 20 pages of this book I already understood it was going to become extremely important to me. Of all the books I’ve been forced to read and study in school, no single novel has taught me more about life, death, love and youth. John Green, I take my hat off to you. An anecdote I particularly adore from the novel:

Henrik Ibsen’s last words:

He’s been sick for a while and his nurse said to him:

‘You seem to be feeling better this morning!”

And Ibsen looked at her and said, “On the contrary.”

and then he died.

I thought I’d share today’s Gems of Parenting

GEM #1:

My dramatic 18 year old sister: (coughing) Daddy, I’m dying!

Dad (watching TV): Can you please die quietly?

GEM #2:

Friend & her boyfriend chilling at boyfriend’s house.

Mother: Andy, did you offer Stella some water?

Andy: Do you want some water?

Stella: No thank you.

Mother: Andy, remember that whenever a girl says no, she really means yes.

…

Mother: Except Sex.

that is all :)

The Adventures of a girl named BOY

• Wakes up and runs to the station, because all her clocks are set 5 minutes early due to her insane mother. Drops purse & Myki on the way as kind strangers gather her things behind her. Looks like one of those idiots running for public transport. Gets to the station, train isn’t coming for 3 minutes. Strangers catch up to her, and judge her…
• Sitting on the train 3 minutes later, listening to two girls and a very metrosexual boy talk. Hears things like boy: “He wore a buttoned up shirt, bowtie, suspenders and glasses, like as a nerd.” girl: “That’s ‘cause he’s Mauritius, they dress like that normally.” Silently giggles to myself, and then feels bad when they turn out to be kind people who give their seats to old ladies.
• Attends a lecture where the professor goes so fast it’s stressful, but learns so much that she left feeling enlightened.
• Goes to purchase a medium sized Boost, leaves with a free large sized Boost (valued at $6)
• Finds a beautiful hardcover Emma (by Austen) at a closing down sale for $5
• Attends a low budget art house play on King Henry IV Part 1, in preparation for VCE English, and momentarily falls in love with Prince Hal.
• Attends a friend’s 17th, where she befriends a darling gay boy & his formerly fat friend whose pets keep dying (you can’t make this stuff up); finds her best friend crying about a boy who won’t survive in the wild, which breaks her heart; falls in love for the 2nd time that day, to a boy she will now call ’Stoner’.  
• Comes home starving, sits on the coach with a spoonful of nutella (or maybe two…) and watches How I Met Your Mother until 1.

It’s days like this: fast paced, stressful, hilarious, lucky & wonderful; that she will remember forever and ever.

WONDERFUL THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY!

• I finally, finally oh my goodness finally got my braces off! I no longer hold a grudge against you Dr. Jeff, you are in fact brilliant. And thank you for playing Shrek on your ceiling TV while removing my braces today, it was perfect! Just as Princess Fiona evolved back into her true self, so did I. I felt it was symbolic.
• I received a picture of my strict, scary yet very intriguing History teacher from the 70s. He had long wavy hair, and wore a tux! WIN. 
• My parents went to New Zealand, without me & darling Sis for the first time ever. We are home alone, I had cereal, crackers & guacamole for dinner. All is well.
• The viral video going around Tumblr today is not of Rebecca Black, the Lonely Island or the cinnamon challenge, but of KONY. Finally, our generation is doing it right.

I was painting my nails when I decided to write a Haiku for you:

Sitting in my room

Trying not to get too high

Off nail polish fumes.

Tonight, I’m going to watch the movie that my friends and I extra-ed in two years ago, and if we made the final cut, then I can cross ‘be in a movie’ off my Bucket List! Switch off your phones and cross those fingers ladies and gents, cause we’re hitting the Big Screen!